The Sex Diary of a
Vol. 9 Chapter II
Jessie C**t*s. • A male friend at the Argyle. • Big breasts. • Friendly intimacy established. • Her first lodger. • Julia R**l***s. • A chubby beauty. • "How many times has he done you?" • At the staircase window. • Two bums felt. • Three on the bed. • Julia pierced. • Jessie's complaisance. • The man in the bed room below. • "Where are you Julia?" • Jessie goes home. • A fuck during dinner. • Full dressed at the bed side. • In the cab after. • Between breasts. • In armpit. • Jessie marries and departs. • Julia R**l***s visited. • At home to no one. • Exercises on sofa and table. • The baudy album.
One night, soon after I had first fucked the hairless cunted little bitch, being at the A*g**e Rooms, I saw a well grown, dark, sparkling eyes, dark haired woman, who looked four and twenty, tho but twenty-one years old. Her large breasts and general build, told me that her form would please me. I began the mercantile business, and having arranged that was going to leave with her, when a friend whom I had not noticed came up and said laughing, "You've got the finest woman in the room again, you always do, I was just going to her — you took Miss***** away from me the other night." I had never noticed him on either occasion, so we may be watched without knowing it. "I'm not going with that woman," said I lying — (she had gone out). "Oh! ain't you," said he and laughed again. I was surprized to see him there, but had heard he was going it fast. Shortly afterwards he was bankrupt and soon after that died, a fine fellow thirty-six years old and six feet two high. — Jessie C**t*s lived at W**t*n P***e in a house of her own. No lodgers were there. — I was very impatient to have her, and my delight was great on seeing her dark haired cunt. Rapidly I mounted her belly and inserted my prick. — "Ah! you lovely devil," I cried, "I am so sorry it's over, what made you fetch me so quick?" for I fucked like a hungry glutton, so impatient was I to have pleasure in her, to feel that we were but one body.
She was beautifully shaped, but with breasts like those of a woman of thirty-five, they were very large, too large indeed, they hung down a much, tho they were not flaccid but quite hard like those of a quite young woman. She never had had a child. — All her sisters, she said had large breasts quite early in life. Her thighs were superb, and she had the loveliest soft, dark hair, curling over her motte, and down the pretty lips below. Her ankle was disproportionately thin, and the foot a little long, all the rest of her form was lovely. Her face was charmingly bright, the mouth tho long and straightish, had splendid teeth in it. She came out very badly in photograph. — "Let me have you again," said I, when I had paid her. — "Come along then," she said, "you won't be in such a hurry now." — We fucked quietly and then she spent with me, then I had her again, and stopped till three or four in the morning fucking her, which I rarely have done with women of late. But all the vigor of my youth seemed in me directly my hand touched her thighs. I knew her for more than a year, took a great fancy to her, slept with her at times, and she got so friendly, that she as others have done consulted me about her affairs — I saw her own letters, and those she received at times from men. I visited her sometimes without fucking her solely for the pleasure of seeing her. — "I must get to the Duke's, are you going to have me first, and before I dress?" — "No." — "Will you see me if I come home at twelve-thirty?" — "You may have a man with you." — "That won't matter, I can come into the other bed room with you directly I arrive, he won't now, you shall have me before him" — or, "I won't bring one home if you prefer it." That was the sort of conversation, which sometimes passed between us.
Still more intimate, I used to dine and sup with her
— one of the few Paphians I have dined with in their houses — I could do so, for like so few of the gay ones who are for the most part idle, and not too clean in their rooms, she was beautifully clean, and spent all her time when not with men in cleaning her house. The furniture was her own. Her kitchen was like a new pin, she only kept one servant but a good one, and had a charwoman. When I first knew her she had no lodger
— afterwards she had one on the first floor. Her own bedroom then was on the floor above. She only took a lodger at occasional times, and when they came from her own village. One she got rid of directly, the other stayed some time, leaving, just before Jessie left.
"You don't mind waiting half an hour do you? My dress maker has come." — "All right go." — After a time I used to say, — "No humbug, you've got a man
— go and be fucked and get him away as soon as you can." — I am now quite philosophical in such matters, have come to that time of life when men I expect usually are so under similar circumstances. "Look —I've got a tenner," said she to me one day showing a bank note after a friend had left her. "And he's coming to morrow." I could not afford to be nearly so liberal to her, but she was content with me. She had good friends and got much money without me. She dressed very handsomely but with a quiet style. I used to sit at times with her and — when she had one and her lodger a woman from Devonshire like herself, and one who came from the same village, — all three sitting round the fire one evening, they with their clothes up to their knees, I stooped and by the light of the fire peeped at the lodger's cunt. — "Show it him," said Jessie, "if he wants," and she herself pulled the girl's petticoats up. — "Look his cock's stiff." She unbuttoned my trowsers and pulled it out. — "It's a fine prick isn't it?" — Both women handled it. "I'll fuck her," said I, for this freedom excited me. — "I don't care if you do." — But I saw that she did, so turned Jessie on to the sofa and fucked her before the lodger. I never had that lodger, who did not pay and left in debt soon. Jessie said she'd not have another.
But she did after two or three months, a charming, auburn haired, plump little creature whose name was Julia. They got on very well together. Before me, "Oh, he's quite a friend" — and then they'd talk of their men. — Jess always asked the other how many times a man did her, it was quite the regular question between them. When I had slept there the same night and the lodger had a man, the lodger did the same — a charming frankness before me, a delightful intimacy for months which largely increased my knowledge of male strength.
This is how it ran. "Who's your man?" — So and so. — "How many times did he do you?" — "Twice." — Do you like him — is he nice?" — "Oh never mind him" (me). This of course as said was when I had known her some time, and was often there and the lodger had seemed inclined not to answer. — Then Jessie would in her turn tell. She had met so and so, he wanted to stop all night, but she would not let him. — Indeed like most gay women I have known, she liked sleeping alone best, but after a time, she always wanted me to sleep with her. — When I did, I had to fuck her till I could do no more, and she left off jumping out of bed, and washing her cunt after each spend, as she did at first, when she knew I liked a smooth buttery cunt.
One night when I slept there, the auburn haired Julia had a young man to sleep with her. He stopped in his bedroom whilst she, Jessie, and I, supped in the parlor. —Then we all went to bed. — It was in the height of summer, heat and fucking made me restless, and I could not keep from feeling and looking all over Jessie when not fucking. She got out of bed just as the sun was just rising, saying, "Julia's awake, I can hear her moving." Then on the landing of the stairs she coughed significantly, and softly out came Julia from her bedroom below, closing the door gently. The two women went to the staircase window on the landing between the two floors, which was wide open on that soft balmy morning, and stood and talked. —"What the devil makes you get up?" — I had said to Jessie as she left me. — She wanted to ask a question. "I'll come too." — I did, and stood in my shirt with my arms round the two lovely women in their nightgowns as they chatted in a low voice, and looked out of the back staircase window.
Said Julia, "He is spoony on me, I told you he was, and wants to keep me, shall I go with him?" — "Do you like him?" — "Not much, but he's rich, and he'll allow me ten pounds a week he says. — He's an Ox-ford man, quite a gentleman, and he is awfully spoony." — "How often has he done you?" — "Once when we went to bed, and just now again, he's gone to sleep now, he's not slept before to night, he's been spooning me ever since we went to bed. I got out directly he fell asleep."
I was feeling both their naked bums at once, of which they took not the slightest notice, then I began rubbing my prick up against them, and both girls laughed. — "Hish! don't make a noise, come to my room," said Jessie. — We all went there, naked footed all three, and continued talking. — Julia had not spent with him. "You don't like him much then," said Jess. — No she liked a man whom she named and wished he would keep her, yet this man was rich and a gentleman — Jessie advised her to accept the offer. — She could have the other man for her pleasure on the sly. The man who was sleeping had a small prick, said Julia. They both laughed at that and so did I. They laid down and I said, "Let me see you both naked together." — Jess consented, they stripped on the bed, and were a lovely pair. I threw off my shirt and stood naked with a stiff prick. — "He wants you, look at his prick," said Jess — I denied it but I did. — "You've made him stiff Julia, let him." — Julia laughed — I saw Jess did not mind this woman, and turned on to Julia, who without persuasion let me mount her but resisted poking, "Let him, I don't mind," said Jessie — Julia's thighs distended at once, for she wanted me. Trying to feel Jessie's quim with one hand whilst fucking Julia Jessie repulsed it, but she felt curiously about under my balls and frigged herself. We all spent together, all outside the bed, quite naked on that hot July morning at daybreak.
All three were still as quiet as mice, and we were enjoying the repose which followed spending, when a soft male voice below cried out, "Julia, Julia." We started up, Julia pushed me off of her. — "Hush! don't make a noise," said Jess. — Julia called out — "I'm coming," took a towel, gave her cunt a dry rub and left the room. — She had been to the closet, and went up to see Jessie, we heard her say to her friend. — "No, Jessie has no man with her, she's alone," and the bed room door closed. We laughed. Jessie then told me a lot about Julia and her friend. Whilst doing so, we heard voices rather loud and angry for a minute in the stillness of the morning. — Jessie stole down stairs and listened, I stood on the top landing looking over. — After a time she looked up, smiled, nodded, pointed to the door and came back to our room. — "He's poking her," said she, "but they have nearly quarrelled." "She has not washed," said I. — "No, but he won't find it out." — "I think I must have poked after him," said I, after a little reflection, — for now I recollected her quim felt very nice and smooth. Jessie laughed. — "You have I think, didn't she say he'd just done her and fallen asleep?" — I began soaping my prick in a state of anxiety, yet had at the same time, a voluptuous sort of delight at having fucked just after him.
The man went off quite early to catch a train, and Julia came to our bedroom at once. — The conversation turned on the occurrence and the man — I found that his prick had gone into my spunk, but she would not admit that mine had been in his. — "But I am sure it has." — "Well no one asked you to have me" — I was in fear for some days after about clap, but need not have been.
I quite settled to this Jessie, and for a whole year, she was expecting when I was out of town, the sole woman of her class whom I touched. At times I indulged in a few baudy freaks with her, but usually fucked her in a husband-like style, tho with passion, for I much enjoyed her. She was not a baudy talker or actress, but we sued to prolong our pokes, resolutely keeping cock and cunt together without shoving, but talking and endearing till we could resist movement no longer — then sucking each other's tongues till our mouths and chins were well moistened, restraining no longer, and with a breathless, "Fuck love" - our backsides wriggled sympathetically till my sperm swamped her love cage, and we died away into blissful sleep. She had the loveliest teeth and a full tongue, and used to like to lick my teeth when our mouths were close together, then my tongue met hers and that excited her. — She liked also my finger to lay well up her cunt, whilst we tongued each other before fucking, preferring that much to the titillation of her clitoris, which is the way most men play with a woman when side by side. But she was cool to me till I had known her some time and she began to like me. "I am going home for a week," said she one day, "and want you to give me my railway fare." — "You are going on a trip with a man," said I jealously — and suddenly I found that I had an affection for her. I was astonished at myself, staggered. — Am I in love with a gay woman again, when there is one woman whom I adore? It was true. I was really loving two women at the same time. I loved Jessie, tho I would have slain her for the other. — What a psychological problem! — Her mother's letter, a badly written scrawl, asking her to go to see her as she was ill, was shewn me. — It looked genuine enough. She put on her plainest dress to go in, and took but little clothing with her, but had some fear of the honesty of her servant, there being then no lodger in the house — I suffered a good deal when she was away, and was savage with myself for being so fond of a gay woman, wrestled with myself, said I would never see her again, and in-deed that nothing but harm could come of it. She was gone eight days and came home exactly at the time appointed. My heart beat loudly when I saw her, she kissed me, then rushed to her drawers and wardrobes (bonnet on). All things were safe as she had left them. — Then I closed on her, and threw her on the bed. — "Wait, wait till I take my bonnet off." — The next moment I was up her, — "Oh I want it so," said she. — No, she had never spoken to any man excepting her father and mother since she had left, they believed she was a dressmaker. — "Eight days without a poke, only think of that." — Was it true? — It's just possible.
She went down stairs to cook the simplest bit of meat. I had taken lobsters and champagne there, and went down with her. — The meat was cooked, and we ate it in the parlor. — She rang for the lobster — the maid took the dirty plates away. "I must fuck you again," said I. — "Stop, Mary will be in with the lobster." But I had been longing to be at her all the time we were eating, and said, "I won't wait." — On the sofa we fucked at once. Mary came in with the lobster but took no notice of our operations. — We sat down to table again, glorying in our moistened genitals and finished the lobster and champagne. — Then we went up to bed to revel in cunt plugging and a jolly evening and night that was. — A fuck with a woman whom a man loves, is better than the baudiest night with a chance woman, but both have their special pleasures. — A night with a baudy woman you like, one who will reciprocate any voluptuousness, beats everything.
We scarcely ever had an unpleasant word, but what annoyed her was my calling just as she was ready dressed to go out. I had a liking for having her just at that time, and used to call when the cab was at the door waiting for her. One night when I did, — "Mistress is just going out sir." — "Any one with her?" — "No, sir." — Up stairs I ran, she had her bonnet on. — "Now you can't have me, I'm in a hurry, have got to meet some one and am behind time." — I would and we mingled. — "Damn it." — She rarely swore. "You do it purposely, as if you couldn't come a little earlier." and she threw her bonnet off in anger. — "Don't be in a rage Jess." — "Fuck me if you're going," — and flinging herself down on the bed side, she pulled her petticoats up to her belly. — She'd no drawers on, and there lay her sweet naked body on the diaphanous chemise, and a heap of flounced and laced petticoats surrounding her, from out of which showed the beautiful fully white belly and thighs, the lovely dark, soft, curly haired motte, and the small red split with the little curls round it. The combination of flounces, lace, silk stockings and boots, with thighs, belly, and cunt, is in some women more appetizing than nudity, and I gazed long, entranced with the voluptuous spectacle, then stooped, kissed, and smelt it. — "Make haste I must go." — I plunged my prick in her glowing sheath, but took my time, prolonging my pleasure. "Spend with me Jess." — "I shan't, it will bring my poorliness on." "Do." Then I probed and wriggled quickly, then slowly and in every fashion which I thought might heat her talked my baudiest, and at length succeeded. Her loins quivered, a tremulous shudder ran across her belly. —"Aharr" — and with exquisite vibrations she spent, whilst a copious balmy injection issued from my prick into her. Then for a minute she lay gorged with prick and sperm, and was tranquil. Then her eyes opened. "Pull it out dear and tell me what's o'clock." — With prick still in her I told the time. — "My God. He won't wait for me." Uncunting me she gave her split a dry rub with a towel, put on her bonnet, and in a minute was at the cab door.
"I'm going your way and will pay the cab." — Jumping in, we drove to the A*g**e together. — On the road she told me who she was going to meet. He was so liberal, and twice she had disappointed him, so was anxious. — "Your cunt's full." — "I'll wash it at the rooms." — There was something in the affair which excited me. "Let me feel your cunt." — "You beast." — But I did, and as my fingers felt the mucilaginous moisture in her sweet temple, my prick stood hard, horny, almost inflexible again. We were just crossing the * * * * Road. — "Let me fuck you." She wouldn't, how could she, it would make her in a mess, we should be seen. — I begged, insisted and had my way. She put her bonnet on the front seat, hoisted up her petticoats, and turning her bum to my belly, sat down on my hot stiff love pole — I clasped her round her hips, my fingers just touching the soft curly ringlets of her motte, and as the cab got to the bottom of Rg**t St. out shot my sperm, into her cockpit. She had pleasure with me, and in another minute had entered the A*g**e with her sperm filled quim. I satisfied, went to my club.
Gradually, we got from simple belly to belly jogging, to a few erotic pranks. — She protested, refused, swore that she had never done such things, and never would — I think she'd only been a year gay, but in the end yielded. "You're the most voluptuous fellow I ever knew. — No one man has ever asked me to do so many baudy things, scarcely any fellow wants to do more than poke either on the bed or at the bedside, not one out of twenty ever thinks of any other way, or talks as you do." — But a Cyprian warms to her work, she likes the variety in time, takes pleasure in it, all human nature does, and after a dinner at her house, a dinner she'd cooked herself of a simple kind, and we had filled up with my generous wine, our brains heated, excited, and suggestive, cunt and cock burning hot and demanding their lewed pleasure, we used to set to work at erotic whimsies.
Her big breasts excited me one evening. — "I'll fuck between them," said I. — "You beast you shan't." — "I will." — "You shan't." — "Let me just put my prick there then, only for a minute." — "You may do that for a minute." — I had my trowsers on which I pulled off in a jiffey, and tucking my shirt up in a roll under my arm pits, stood between her legs as she sat on a chair in front of the bedroom fire. — She only had a silk wrapper and chemise on, the latter she dropped down, and I laid my rigid pego against her lovely bosom. "Poke me properly first and do that later, I want a poke so." — "No now." — In a minute she had lifted up her great and firm white breasts, firm as the udder of a heifer. — My prick was pinched between them, and hidden all but its fiery tip which just peeped out at the top, whilst my balls hung rubbing against her flesh below. I thrust gently up and down in the fleshy channel with a fucking motion, she laughing, then looking down and trying to see, which she couldn't well do, then looking up at me.
My prick happened to be in the highly sensitive state that night, to which I have alluded. The friction on its gland against her dry flesh hurt me, whilst at the same time it had excited and swollen it to the utmost. "Now that will do." — "I mean to spend between these lovely bubbies." — "You shan't," and she pushed me away. But I was hot on my letch and insisted, swore I'd go away unless she let me (I was going to stop the night) so she consented. I took some oil from her toilet table, anointed her breasts and my prick with it, and resuming my position fucked till my sperm was nearly ejaculated between the bubbies. Now she took interest in the frolic. — I was sighing out my pleasure, when made lewed by contemplating me, by its novelty and already hot cunted by a good dinner, she grasped me by my backside, leaving me to press her breasts round my piston. She was again looking alternately up in my face, and down at her bosom as I thrust, and deliciously out sped my sperm. — As I gently moved up and down after I'd spent, —"You beast, that spunk ought to have been in my cunt," said she, and rushed to the looking glass pressing her breasts together. — "Oh what a lot of spunk" — then laughing she restored her breasts to their purity with soap and water, whilst I did the same to my empty ballocks. She only used baudy words when lewed.
"You beast, you've made me so lewed, why didn't you poke me first," said she again. When an hour after-wards in bed both start naked, and entwined in each other's embraces, flesh greedy to meet flesh every where, my belly pressing hers as I lay between her thighs and fucked my second fuck. — Then as our mouths moistened each other, she gasped, "Oh — what a lot of spunk was on my breasts. — A — ha — fuck dear — fuck me." — "Ahar — yes — wasn't there a — har." Our soft sighs were coming, then our tongues meeting in liquidity stopped utterance; sighs and shortened breaths stopped speech in both, and told that our spunks were blending, that bubby-fucking had raised lewed ideas in her. How they rush thro the brain whilst fucking.
She heard of this masculine whim, but no one had ever suggested it to her but me she said, when talking it over on another occasion. Whether that be true or not I cannot say. — Talking about it led to another whim. — What a fertile brain mine must be, for I declare I never had heard of such a pose as I'm going to narrate. — As she had already yielded up to me her breasts, she made no objection now to their use for a variation. — Both of us in a state of nudity, she laid on her back, I knelt across her breast, half lying half holding myself upon my knees and elbows, with my rump to-wards her face, and put my prick between her big breasts, which she held up and pressed together, making a comfortable fleshy channel round my pego, enveloping it nearly all round, in which I fucked, whilst she contemplated my backside and wagging ballocks. But cunt, that delicious, soft, red, pouting parting, even then had its irresistible attractions. My head was half way down her thighs which were closed. "Open your thighs wide Jessie and let me feel your cunt — Ah — how I wish I could lick it." She opened them. Leaning more on one elbow and hand than the other, I managed to put one hand, so as just to feel the clitoris and motte, and thus I fucked on and spent between her lovely hillocks, so soon as my fingers touched her cunt. But somehow this erotic whim neither excited her nor me, so much as the first bubby fucking, which was a complete novelty to her. No woman unless with very big breasts such as hers, could have made a nice channel for my prick as she did in the last posture. I have fucked between the breasts of perhaps a full dozen gay women, and of one modest lady, but it's not every bosom which rouses my lust in that direction.
That led to my using her armpits as a channel for my onanism, armpit frigging or armpit fucking, or what-ever may be its right designation (I am not happy at coining terms) I have asked a hundred strumpets, and not one but owned that men had used her armpits as a cunt. I expect it is a common enough practice to entitle it to a distinct denomination like fist fucking (masturbation) or cock sucking (irrumination) or bum-hole fucking (buggery). (Yet in all my peeps at the happy couples thro holes in baudy house partitions and else-where, I have never seen a man doing it to a woman that way, or I don't recollect it.)
One evening talking about various fashions of sexual enjoyment, she consented. "You've done it between my breasts, and I may as well let you do it once this way, you're a good old friend," (I believe she then liked me much) and sitting on a chair naked in front of a cheval glass, she raised her arms for my operation. She had a good deal of dark hair in those valleys, which to me was one of her beauties. — I had used soap with the women I had enjoyed in that fashion, but now filled her thicket with cold cream, and putting my prick in its place commenced — but that lubrication or anointment seeming not to be pleasurable, I washed it off, and again had recourse to soap, which I rubbed in the hair till it was nearly a soapy paste. — "Now frig yourself, Jessie, whilst I'm doing it." — She refused, tho I told her that most of the women in whose armpits I had fucked had frigged themselves at the same time. What a lovely thing it is that man and woman can frig themselves. It's a pleasure when had alone, is such compensation for trouble and misery, and a delectable companionship when tasted with others.
I thrust on steadily enjoying her, now looking at my prick which I pushed to and fro showing its rubicund tip near to her breast at each forward movement, now looking at ourselves reflected in the glass. — She sitting right facing it, her handsome haired motte and the beginning of the red belly slash between her round thighs, just peeping out. — It was her left arm. "Push up your breast love, so as to touch my prick as it comes thro." Up she pressed it well with her left hand. — It was a luscious sight, but I was not so full of sperm that night, so worked slowly. — Both were silent now till the first throb of pleasure made my frame quiver, and my love of cunt in which I know the supremest enjoyment of the woman is to be found made me stop. — "Oh! I'll fuck your dear cunt instead, it's nicer Jess," I sighed and ceasing thrusting.
"Oh — no — go on — finish there," said she, for at the same moment she'd began frigging herself. — That completed the picture, and in silence I fucked on, saw her thighs widen, her hand move quicker. — "Keep your arm closer love and push up your breast." — In her own pleasure, she had forgotten that part. — Her limbs obeyed, but with my left hand I pulled her breast still closer up to her armpit. — "Aha — cunt — fuck — I'm spending love." I sighed, and seizing her head, pulled it back and kissed her face, still fucking on whilst she kept on frigging and spent with me in erotic rapture. "My spunk's in your armpit love." — "Ahar" — she sighed — "aha — aharr." — Her hand ceased moving but lay covering her motte, her head she'd turned up to mine more, and our tongues were meeting as we spent.
"You frigged yourself after all Jess." — "You baudy devil you'd make any woman do any thing I believe," said she still quiet with my prick still in her armpit. I pulled it out, and moving to her side felt up her cunt. I loved to feel the spendings of this woman, for I liked her, nay after a fashion loved her, for she was very charming. These were the only exceptions to the beast with two backs business which we did together. With belly to belly, after all, a woman is best enjoyed physically, the rest being largely imagination. Altho I knew her some thirteen months, I scarcely touched any other woman during that time, and none of my Palphian regular acquaintances, so she must have given me intense gratification. The ten pounder came again and again, and she got from him lots of money. At length he was always there and much in my way when I called. He was spooney on her and said he would marry her. — What should she do she asked me — I was heart broken and cried like a child at the idea of losing her. — "Don't take on so," said she. "You are a good fellow and I'm very fond of you, but you are very much older than me, and you can't marry me I know." — I told her that the very best thing she could do was to accept, if he really meant it. — After a week or two she said the marriage day was fixed, and their passages taken for Australia. — He had money, (tho only just of age) and thought it best they should quit the country, and in that they were wise. That night was to be my last poke, she had sworn she would let no other man touch her again after that day — I was to be her last free love.
Three days after I longed for her so that I took her a wedding present. — At first the servant said she was out but I refused to leave and after waiting half an hour saw her and gave her the present, which much de-lighted. She did not expect it. Then I begged her to let me have her. — No, she had sworn with the Bible in her hand not to do so — I begged again, prayed, cried, I longed for her with most furious desire. "Once, only once and the last time." — My crying upset her and she began to cry, did I wish her to break her oath? — every man who had called had been kept out but me. Mary had no business to have let me in. — Her mother had come up and was down stairs. — Would I go? — she hoped I would. — "Do. Go and see Julia R**l***s, she's fond of you and will be glad to see you tho she's living with a man now and hasn't seen anyone else."
I kept on begging, entreating, crying and kissing her till she warmly kissed me. — "Don't be foolish now." — "Let me feel your thighs — only that — let me get the smell of your dear cunt on my fingers, that I may take it away with me." — With force I got my hand on to it. She had begun to cry, and now more than ever, and when I pulled my prick out, got angry; then tender.
—"You'll make me break my oath and bring some misfortune on me" — were I think the last words she said before she fell back on the sofa. Then I saw her beautiful dark haired motte, the lovely red lipped cunt for the last time, and in two or three minutes we were spending together. — "My God, — don't — I won't come, — I've sworn." — "Aha — my love, I'm spending." — "So — am — ahrr" — and her spendings mingled with mine.
When it was over she upbraided me, was sure breaking her oath would bring her some misfortune — her intended had said it would. — We parted in tears. — She was married a few days after, and in a week after that went abroad. — A fine vessel, whose destination was that of Jessie's, a month after was wrecked, all aboard drowned, and I have every reason to think that she and her husband were in that vessel. — No one ever heard of her after, I questioned dozens of women who knew her, and made other enquiries.
[What is remarkable, is that tho I loved carnally this woman, tho she was pretty cunted, sweet, clean and wholesome in every way, and exactly the one with whom I might have indulged, yet I neither gamahuched her, nor she me. — I don't recollect the desire having taken hold of me, nor moreover having mentioned such a thing. But when one night soon after, I made Nellie L**l*e give me that pleasure with her lips, my abstinence with Jessie struck me. But as before said, I never could give reasons to myself for giving one woman that treat, and neglecting others.]
I actually fretted after this woman, surprized and mad with myself at such a state of mind, still loving as I ever shall one woman to the last day of my life. I was continent for a full fortnight after Jessie had left, then one evening an overwhelming desire to see a fresh cunt, to see the nude charms of another woman seized me. I struggled against it, thought what folly it was to desire another woman so earnestly, but the desire was irresistible — Jessie's words rang in my ears, and vanquished off I went to B * * * * *t*n.
"Is Mrs. R**l***s at home?" — "No sir," said the servant in such a manner that I felt sure she was. — "She is in I know, and that she'll be glad to see me," I remarked in a very peremptory tone. The servant persisted. — When would she be home, when the best times to see her, and similar questions I put to get at the truth. — The servant was dogged, but at last said that if she were at home, she never saw strangers, I might leave my card. — "Tell her," I almost bawled out intentionally, "that the gentleman who was intimate with Mrs. C*t*s who was married recently, has called." — Immediately a soft voice called down the stairs. "Show him into the dining room." — In another minute Julia appeared smiling to see me.
Glad to see me, but she was under the protection of * * * * * (an officer of good cavalry rank), was no longer gay, and she laughed. She had I knew left Jessie some weeks previously to her marriage to live with the officer. She had I knew come to London direct from near E**t*r, where she had been gay but a short time, and within four months after had this luck. — She was born close to Jessie's birth place, which was why she lodged her when she came up to London. — "You're in luck Julia." — "Am I not? I'm so glad, I don't like gay life, and intended going home for good."
She was a sweet, short little creature, chubby all over, and with the sweetest modest face. — I'd already fucked her once as told, and with Jessie's concurrence. After that Jessie told me she shouldn't remain lodging with her if I tailed her any more, and as I was enamoured of Jessie I didn't. — For all that I had several times felt her cunt, and once or twice looked at it before Jessie, for the two were always together when alone. I mixed with the two quite familiarly, and they were as free with me as if I'd been one of the sister-hood.
"You're alone (her protector at Colchester with his regiment) we can make love." — "No, he'd cut me if he ever found it out." — She named two or three men who had called. — "But I wouldn't see them." — "Non-sense Julia, you don't make me believe that you only frig yourself." — "It's true tho, since Jessie's marriage, he left the day afterwards, now he's going to sell out and marry me, and we are going abroad, like Jessie." — "I've been like this for half an hour as I drove here," saying which I pulled out my red tipped truncheon. — "Oh don't, put it bye, suppose a servant came in." — I put it out of sight. But the sight and our talk settled the matter. She had wine and cake brought in, the door was soon locked, sitting on my knee we were kissing and tonguing, and mutually feeling and groping at our copulating apparatus. — I put her off my knee and led her unresisting to the sofa, both silent, and in a minute after the plump lipped red inlet was divided by my truncheon, and the soft yielding clinging channel embraced its full length. — Up to the hilt it went, whilst my wrinkled lithophytic bag knocked against her chubby buttocks, my reservoirs of virility opened, and in mutual trans-ports the liquid of love gushed into her sucking thirsty cunt. She wanted it badly.
Then hastily but quietly she unlocked the door, and rang for tea. The house had been inhabited by a gay lady, and Julia's friend purchased furniture and every-thing as it stood, and installed Julia in it. — The servants were not of the usual strumpet following, but Julia feared that they might round on her and make mischief. — "I really meant to be true to him, wanted him to take me to Colchester, and you are the only man who's had me since, I'll swear." — Perhaps true perhaps false I thought, but accepted the statement as gospel. Then we talked about Jessie of whom I learnt more than I knew, but nothing to her discredit. — An hour ran away, I felt her thighs and the cunt still mucilaginous with sperm. That excited us both, again the door was locked, the delicate red parting received my stalwart implement of love, and too soon also both cunt and prick separated, and were satisfied for that night, and I departed.
The pretty little lady met me out once or twice, and we enjoyed ourselves at a brothel, but we didn't like that. — Then things favouring me, both she and I risked sleeping together in her house. She sent first one, then the other servant out on some pretext, then I slipped in and up to her room, the next morning de-parting by a similar trick, I suppose unobserved. A delicious night we had. What a pretty, soft, red, auburn haired division was that between her nice round thighs. Her shortness had even a charm for me, it was babyish. Fucked out both of us were and I especially. We agreed it was to be the last time, for her friend would return in a week — but it wasn't.
A month afterwards I went again. She was packing up her clothes and was going abroad with him in three days, all the furniture as it stood had been sold. — He was away. — "Now don't, you shan't to night — now pray don't." — I conquered, the sofa received us twice, I stroked her a third time as she laid with her back on the table. — When I was leaving, "Here, you may have this," and she gave me a largish, handsomely bound album full of the baudiest prints and drawings. — No photographs but perhaps one hundred fine engravings of well drawn figures, some coloured, some not — (a book I think now worth fifty pounds). "Give it me?" — "Yes, I shan't want it and don't know what to do with it, Jessie gave it me. I've kept it locked up and never showed it him or any one. — He doesn't like baudy books or drawings."
"Jessie has never shewn it me." — Then I heard that her first lodger went away in debt, that the book was hers, and Jessie kept it as part payment. She locked it up. Whether she shewed it other men I don't know. — On her marriage she gave it Julia. — What made me refuse the gift I cannot imagine, it was utterly stupid but I did, and have since regretted it. It was the last time I ever saw or heard of the pretty chubby baby, Julia.