The Sex Diary of a
Vol. 9 Chapter IV
Nelly's servant Agnes. • Sweet sixteen. • Three nights preliminaries. • Tactics. • Baudy pictures and tickling. • Garters and champagne. • Temporary limpness. • Drawers in the way. • Virginity slaughtered. • A week's felicity. • On the wearing of drawers by women. • Some months after. • Two years later on. • She marries.
Nelly L**l*e occasionally had been useful in procuring me other amusements, than those which her own belly could give. Most of my doings with her women have been narrated, others I omit describing. She was just now a little down in the world seemingly, and lived on the ground floor of a house in *** St, had two rooms leading out of each other and a kitchen below. In the upper part were respectable lodgers. Rather a poor lot lived in the street. The street door was always open and in her rooms one could hear the tramp of those going up and down stairs. They could have listened at her doors, tho at risk of being caught, which is as much resented among that class as among others.
One night she said she had a nice girl coming as servant "fresh from the country" where she had been nursemaid, and just sixteen years old. Her mother a poor charwoman quite knew Nell's occupation, but said that her girl was old enough to take care of herself, she could not keep her, indeed could scarcely feed her younger children. That's the usual way poor people push their children off. — Nelly was to take her temporarily till she got another a situation in a tradesman's house. Nelly had given out that she was a dresser at a theatre, so as to get into her present lodgings, she then I know could not bear living in a house with other gay women. She had promised the mother to hide her occupation of harlot from the lass, who when any one called was to go into the kitchen; but the mother unless a fool, must have known that that was useless. — Nell whetted my appetite, I asked her to get me the girl, and tempted enough, she said she would not guarantee a virgin — how could she? for she had been in service at * * * * * more than a year. Her father (then alive) had put her there. She should think she had not yet been fucked, and she was quite modest looking — but who could tell? — If she were not virgin, Nell could not expect me to be so liberal.
I remarked that I supposed the girl would be fucked if I didn't have her. — Nell replied that probably one of her men seeing her, would get hold of the girl some-how, and however she might try, the girl would find out that she was gay. She told her mother she must take her chance of that if the girl came to her, but she was to get her another situation as soon as possible.
As I can no longer reckon upon unlimited stiff standers, I satisfied myself that night with feeling Nell's privates, and went away with ballocks unemptied, and as arranged, on the following night called. — Agnes opened the door. — Mrs. L**l*e was not in she said. — "I will call again." — "Oh if you please sir, Mrs. told me if you are the gentleman she expected, I was to ask you to wait till she returned. She'll be back soon." I went in and sat by the fire, my heart a little beating, cock a little beating, at the sight of the girl, and the anticipation of uncovering her nakedness, for I had a strong desire for her the instant I saw her.
Agnes was shortish, had dark brown hair, hazel eyes and thick eye brows, a fresh complexion and good features, tho the nose was snubbish. She was so plump and fully developed that I thought her seventeen till I looked into her face. — Oh if she be virgin! — and I felt wild to be at her. — "For God's sake don't be too hurried, don't have a noise," — Nell had said. "Because if any one's at the doors (there were two) he could hear." — Besides I had better try a little freedom first
— she might if alarmed tell her mother, thought Nell.
I stood by the fire in the bed room. The girl began to dust the poor furniture — never looking at me — she was nervous and dusted things over and over again. I stood wondering what sort of thighs she had, guessing at her quim, and balancing the chances of her being virgin or not. — "What's your name?" "Agnes, sir."
— "You're very pretty, can you fetch me some seltzer water?" — "Yes sir." — She'd been told where to go. She fetched it and I gave her the change. — She opened it, letting it fly all over me, and was in a funk.
— "Now you must dry me," and I made her rub me with a towel, my trowsers were wet just about my prick level. "Rub it dry here," said I pointing. She obeyed innocently. — I sent for more, gave her the change again, and she broke into a smile. — "If you let a drop run over you shall give me a kiss." — None was spilt and again she set to work dusting. — Then I made her fetch whiskey. — "Now hot water, and sugar." A kettle was on the hob and I mixed grog. She would take none. The change from the whiskey was on the table. "Give me a kiss and you shall have that." — "No," said she bolting to the other end of the room. — "Never mind, here it is." — She came, I put it into her hand, and caught and kissed her.
The fire in the parlour where she sat had gone out as soon did her candle, but she sat down there whilst I sat smoking by the bed. "Come to the warm," said I, and with a little persuasion she came. I praised her beauty, said I had never enjoyed a kiss so much before, that I did not believe she was only sixteen, she was more. She wasn't sixteen she burst out. — I didn't believe it. — "Why sir I'm really not quite sixteen." She had been a year in service as nursemaid to a little boy. The master kept a shop, and she imagined he failed, for she had heard them saying business did not go on. They had packed up several large trunks, and a week before that, had given Agnes notice. One night they told her to pack up her things, early next morning a cart was at the door, her box was put into it with their own, they drove to the railway and came to London. There they put her into a cab, paid her her wages, and gave her a written character. That was about ten days before this. She fetched the character to show me from her box in the kitchen.
Beyond the kiss I had made no progress. I got her to have whiskey and water, sent for more, and a lemon because she said she liked it with lemon, and her late mistress used to give her a wine glass full, made so. — I gave her the change again — "Mrs. L**l*e said you were a kind gentleman," said she. — "Do you know you have given me so much," — taking it all out of her pocket. "I'd give you three bright sovereigns to sleep with you" — plunging into business at once. — she looked glum, made no reply, and began dusting the things again. — "You'll dust the legs off at that rate, come here and make the kettle boil." She did and we went on talking. She had no sweetheart and had never been out at night without her mistress, whose boy was two years old, — "How do you know it was not a girl?" said I. — She made no reply and looked queer. — "What's the difference between the two?" — No reply. "The difference is between the thighs, isn't it, Agnes?" — "I wonder whether my mistress is coming, I'll go and look." Saying that she left the room, and after a few minutes I found her at the street door. — "I shall go if you don't come in," said I.
In she came, and I recommenced chaffing. "Tell me the difference between a boy and a girl." — "I shan't." — "Tell me." — She burst into a laugh then stopped' herself. Did she ever see her master and mistress in bed together, how did they lay? Was her mistress fat or lean? — Where did Agnes wear her garters? — "You garter below knee." — What a lot of women I've trapped into a reply by that remark. — "That I don't" said she sharply. She was then sitting near me, and I put my hand rapidly above her knee and felt the garter outside her clothes. "That's it, I wish I were the garter, then I should see if you were a boy or a girl." — I pinched her thigh again and gave her another kiss, then praised her feet, (she was well booted). She lifted her clothes slightly to show her boots — but every thing was done in a modest way by her.
At last I got to fucking heat, and felt that I must talk baudily, although Nelly had earnesly cautioned me not to do so. — "Has any gentleman been here today with Mrs. L" — "Not that I know of sir." — "Has she been fucked today?" — The girl rose up with face blood red, I never saw such a red face or such confusion, and tried to walk away, but I sat just between her and the bed room door, so she was obliged to pass me, and I caught her. — "Let me go sir." — "Has any man been on the bed with her and put his cock into her cunt?" — "Let me go sir now." — "You know what I mean." — She burst into tears. — "I'll tell Mrs. L**l*e. — I'll tell my mother." — I thought I'd gone too far. "Don't be so foolish, you know Mrs. L**l*e has men to fuck her." — Then I let her go, but felt outside her quim as she passed me, and saying, "I'd give a good sum to fuck you." She left the room, and soon after I found her standing at the street door looking up and down the street. I got her back and went on chaffing baudily, she then sitting in the dark front room, silent.
Nell came in soon after, and sent the girl to fetch something from the public house. I told what I had done. She thought I'd gone too far, said the girl should sleep with her, and she'd talk her over. When Agnes returned, I threw Nell on the bed and lifted her petticoats to her navel. Agnes turned away her head. Nell sent her to the sitting room and closed the folding door, intentionally leaving it ajar, and winking at me. Then Nelly stripped, I unbuttoned, we got on to the bed, and with much lasciviousness and murmurs of pleasure fucked. — "Agnes, Agnes," cried Nell when we had finished. — After calling her several times, in came the girl saying she had been asleep, but she looked so con-fused that we knew it was a lie. — Said Nell to me quietly, — "Nothing makes a girl want it so much, as seeing a man and woman doing it, I and Sophy often saw them doing it in the fields, and used to talk about it." — [Sarah F**z*r and other resorted to this de-vice, and it is of all time no doubt.]
Two days after I intentionally met Nell out. She had slept with Agnes, and was going to let the girl peep when another man was doing it to her. She was pretty certain the girl was virgin. She had been talking that day of leaving and going home to her mother. — "Do her tonight if you can, but don't make a noise, there are always people going up and down stairs, and they pass the doors to go to the back yard as well." She advised me to offer her money. The girl had got hot and lewed enough when told a few things about fucking, Nelly was sure. How like this is to previous similar adventures.
[But fucking — its preliminaries, and sequences, was, is, and always will be the same.]
Next time as arranged Mrs. L**l*e was out — I waited, sent out for this and that, gave Agnes the change, got her to sip the liquor, and at last settled her down on a chair by the bed side opposite to me, as on the previous night. But I should say that before that, I had visited Nell that afternoon, and that Agnes then was sent to wait in the kitchen.
Nell then had told me that she was a lovely made girl, had a fair quantity of hair on her quim, knew about fucking, and had seen Nell twice fucked. But I thought that Agnes was funky and modest, and did not half like her place with a theatre dresser, for Nell kept up that farce. So did the girl tho she knew better. Now I praised Agnes' beauty till she grinned, and then I kissed her. "This is the second time you have come and found my Mrs. out," said she.
Then I tried the old dodge, played so successfully with others, an infallible way of getting my hand near a cunt without scaring the lady. "I have brought you a pair of garters," producing a handsome pair. — "Oh thank you, sir," said she delighted. — "My pair is just like them." — "Yours?" — "Yes, only they are old and dirty, my mistress gave them me when she had a new pair, she was married in the pair she gave me." — I didn't believe it — Agnes became excited, and turning her back bent forward, and the next instant showed me a dirty garter of the same pattern as mine, which were gorgeous in colour, and with gilt clasps and buckles.
"They are yours if you let me put them on." — "Certainly not." — "What nonsense — what if I do see your legs — I have seen your ankles and boots. — What harm in showing a little bit higher up?" It was nearer her cunt what of that, I had seen hundreds of cunts. — A cunt was meant to be seen, and felt, and kissed — looked at what Nelly did, I remarked. At the word cunt she tossed her head, and when she'd got the shock I pulled her on to my knees, and said she would not let me because her thighs were not so clean. — That they were. — She had the bath always after Mrs. L**l*e. "Then why not let me?" — "I won't." — "Then you shan't have the garters, tho I meant to give you half a crown each garter I put on." — She laughed, I put them on the mantel piece and changed the subject — every minute or so, she then looked up at the mantel piece whilst we were talking.
"I shall go, Nelly's very late" — and I put the garters in my pocket. — "Mrs. won't be long, she'll be angry if you go — it's not my fault is it?" — "Yes, I'll go unless you let me put on the garters." — She hesitated. — I got close to her where she was standing. — "Now you goose, let me sit you on the bed." — She half sat on it and I lifted her on to it, she laughing nervously as I did so. — "Don't be rude now." — Then was the game I have played over and over again with females, both young and full grown, and rarely have failed. — A little variety in the attack, a little in their defense, but virtually all was the same. — Vanity, the desire for the garters, flattery of feet and ankles, pave the way. — Thus it was with Agnes — slightly struggling, refusing but acceding, bit by bit I lifted her clothes, put on both garters, and whilst she hollowed and resisted, got my hand on her cunt. — "Oh — don't — you beast — leave off." She escaped me and sat down crying, making indeed such a very loud noise that I ceased, but stood before her with a cockstand showing, begging her in plainest language to let me fuck her pretty little cunt. How stimulating to the passions of a woman, is that desire when expressed by a man in lewed language.
After a time she was pacified — I kept my prick out tho it was now hanging down, and stopped her going to the door. — "I will go if you keep on showing it" — so I put my prick out of sight. Then I praised her cunt, how hairy it was for her age, and what a nice smell it had, what fat thighs she had. — For a quarter of an hour I gave license to my tongue to stimulate her lust. She never made a reply or a remark. — "Come to the bed and I'll give you three sovereigns." — I kissed her again and she scarcely struggled, but sat sulkily looking at the fire and thinking over I suppose what had taken place; staggered but half lewed by the knowledge that I had felt her privates, and had got the aroma of her quim on my fingers.
"Another night you'll let me, won't you?" and I promised I expect all that I could to tempt her, and in my rutting furor meant it. "Who will know if you don't tell? all girls do it but don't tell — let me." — So I talked on, so long, standing by her side. — she I saw irresolute, — kissing her at intervals, and every now and then pulling out my staff, then pushing it back again, persuading, and offering money. She at last was sitting silent, sulky, shrugging her shoulders each time she heard lewed words.
Three hours had slipped away, so deliciously absorbing is a cunt hunt. — How I kept in my sperm I don't know — Nelly came in, and Agnes went to the kitchen: Nell when she'd heard me, said she'd talk to her again in bed. — "Perhaps she'd have let you tho had you tried to do it, as she sat still, try her well on Monday" — (it was Saturday). Then she asked me part payment, for services. "Not so green, my dear, not yet — no fuck, no money — no virgin, half price, — I tip you each night I'm here just as if I fucked you, and you ought to be satisfied." — "Come on Monday, there is more noise in the house and street that day, bring champagne, and try her."
I restrained myself from fucking Nell, wanting Agnes to have it all, and went away concupiscent. — On the Monday by arrangement Nell met me in the street, said she had called Agnes a fool not to get three sovereigns and a good friend. — "Make her let you, she'll be frightened I think to make a noise, and she's curious to know if it hurts. I've told her that that's nonsense, that pleasure comes quickly, the pain is nothing, the pleasure great." — So with a determination to have the girl, I knocked at the door on the Monday night.
Nell had moved an old wardrobe across the lobby door of the bed room, so as to shut out sound, and had told me to close the folding doors — I did that directly, saying how cold the room was — Agnes sat herself in the front room, but there was no fire there, and the lass with a little persuasion came and sat near me. She looked anxious, kept moving her legs and hands about, and then got up and began dusting.
I opened my champagne. "I mustn't have any," said she. "For Mrs. L. gave me some gin and water before she went out." — I saw Nell's little game. — But Agnes persuaded took the first, then a second glass, and then began to laugh, and looked lovely — I got furiously lewed, took the pot, and pulling out my prick so stiff that I could scarcely piss thro it, ostentatiously for her to see, emptied my bladder. — "Do you want to piddle?" — A toss of her head. — "Now you're beginning again sir." — It little matters what remark you begin a baudy conversation with, so long as it leads to thinking of prick joining cunt, which makes both sexes lewed — Dukes and Duchesses, Peasants and Beggars it is all the same. Suggestive conversation must be begun, to heat the imagination and make lewedness creep into the generative organs. Then when it does, the battle is half won. — A randy wench, her cunt sweating with lust, longing for the unknown pleasure, curious about coition which she has so much heard of, and seen dogs, and cocks and hens doing, can scarcely long resist trying it, when a man is soliciting.
She finished the glass, then a third, and soon after began to laugh at my talk but in a shamefaced way. — It was all about Nell and the men she'd seen fucking. — She'd the new garters on for I had left them her. — "Let me see them, you haven't." — She refused, I began pulling up her clothes, she resisting, and at length said she'd kiss me if I desisted. I did, was kissed but recommenced. — "Oh that's not fair." — She'd show me one garter, then turning round she took one off quickly. I would feel the other, got my hand on to it, then on to her cunt. — She rose up and dislodged my hand, but I pushed her to the bedside unbuttoning my trowsers as I did so.
My stiff cock was soon made visible to her and I tried to feel her again. "If you don't leave off I'll run out of the house." — "Let me fuck you." — "You beast." — "I'll give you these," and put three sovereigns down on the table (I've always found three sovereigns a lucky number). — "I won't let you, I don't want the money." — She got noisy, so I ceased attempting or tempting further. In a quarter of an hour, after chatting on with scarcely a reply, I produced a baudy book and asked her to look at it. — "What's it about?" — "Come and see." — She sat on my knee, and took more champagne. — "That will make you want to piddle." — She tossed her head without reply, and I opened a book I have had some years full of the lewedest engravings. She turned over the leaves without any remark, but she coloured up. Then came a print of a girl gamahuching another. "Oh! what a beast" — and she closed the book. The pictures, talk, wine, and the look of my prick had heated her little quim, kind nature helps the man, thoughts stir lust. — suddenly tickling occurred to me, so kissing and talking baudy, I began tickling her, and did so till she kicked, and writhed, yelled and laughed, till almost exhausted. Then I got my finger well on her moist slit, and frigged away spite of her closing her thighs on it, and wriggling her buttocks.
I saw that she was clean upset, that lust was getting strong in her. — Desire in a woman is her weakness. Thro struggling and my frigging, her hair was tumbling down — her breath got short, her struggles feeble. — "Oh — now — don't — oho — don't do that — aha — o — sir — what a shame."
Instinct told me that the psychological moment had come. Kissing her I lifted her on to the bed, she perhaps half unconscious that she was getting on, and all the time saying, — "You shan't now. — I won't let you." — On to her back I got her, throwing myself upon her at the same instant, my trowsers a little unbuttoned, thro which my prick protruded. I hitched up her clothes with difficulty, fearing she would still resist, and somehow managed to open my trowsers more, laying on her all the time. — Then I noticed she had drawers on and tore at them violently. — "Oh don't tear 'em they are new," said Agnes roused. In hot lust, and fear of some impediment, I tugged harder, they seemed slitting, my belly partly met hers, and I felt her cunt with one hand whilst still tugging at the drawers with the other, till they were away from her thighs. For an instant I rose up between her thighs, had a flash of white flesh and dark hair, and down on her belly went again, guiding my prick to its goal.
Then occurred that which has taken place several times in my life, and I think more frequently of late years, perhaps the result of age. As my prick touched her sexual treasure, to my horror it quickly drooped, its tip was at the mouth of the temple, was between the lips of the avenue so coveted, but would not enter, and a fearful nervousness came over me. The girl lay quiet, yielding her person to my will, and I lay feeling her buttocks, kissing, endearing and rubbing my gland up and down the face of her cunt, in a state of a fearful misery at my impotence. — How long my nervous horror lasted I cannot say. "There love — that doesn't hurt does it — that's all" — and other puerilities I uttered, till I recollected suddenly that several times in my life before I had been similarly impotent, and that it did not last long. Courage came with that. Sliding my finger along the lips of her cunt I tried to put one up. She winced, "Oh! — you hurt" — I felt sure now that she was virgin, and at once my prick sprang into life, into splendid condition, — fit to break through any hymen, young, old, tough or easy.
My clothes seemed in the way, my prick couldn't get to its goal comfortably, tho she lay quiet with eyes closed, anticipating my pego. Rising on to my knees, rapidly I took off coat and waistcoat, tore open my trowsers, dropped down on her again, and my pego touched her notch, I placed it at the orifice, clasped her buttocks and lunged. It was stopped. — "Hoh — don't" — she cried. "Be quiet dear, they'll hear you," and I lunged again. She cried out loudly. It was a tough maidenhead, in two or three more lunges my tip stuck fast. Another lunge with all the force of rump and loins, a violent lunge, something gave way, and my gland seemed nipped. Another thrust, another sharp cry from her, and my prick was buried in her, her maidenhead was gone, my sperm was jetting out hot and thick into her cunt. Then she lay tranquil, soothed by the emollient my prick had shed in her. — Girls I find whatever their struggles before, all lay quiet directly the prick has shed its balmy fluid up them; sperm is a delicious cunt-soother.
Recovering from my fainting joy, my prick lay still stiff up her — Agnes lay quiet with closed eyes, and answered none of my questions, and so I lay up her thinking and indulging. At last she said, "You've torn my drawers to pieces I'm sure." — "I'll give you a new pair dear" — and I wriggled my prick a bit in her cunt, for it was dwindling. Now I longed to give her pleasure for she hadn't spent, and pushed and wriggled my prick more, put my hand down to feel it, and my fingers were blood stained. Then I uncunted. — "Let me get up, please do," she whined. She felt her quim. — "You've made me bleed," she whimpered. — "Let me get up." — I wouldn't, but still partially laying on her, lifted up one of her legs, tugged her drawers up, and put them under her cunt. It was a tough virginity, a bloody sacrifice, scarcely any hymen I've slaughtered caused so much blood-letting. Women in this vary much, I've ruptured many a cunt and know. — We lay now talking. How lovely is that chat with the woman who has just been fucked for the first time, whose cunt is full of the man's semen. "Next time dear it will be all pleasure." — Now and then I took the ragged drawers away from her quim to see if she were bleeding still. — She seemed now apathetic in her quiescence, as I tenderly put a finger up her deflorated hole. — What delight to feel the soft buttery interior, and know it was of my own making; how quietly she let me feel, altho with a few twitches of her thighs. Then I made her feel my prick, it was sticky, had drooped but was again stiff ten minutes after it had left her cunt; then on to her again I turned.
"Oh — no — not again." — "There dear — the tip's in — there" (a shove). "O-hoo" — I was up her. — Then came the delightfully gentle thrusts as smoothly it stretched her ravished cunt, and glided up and down in the soft channel; it went out to the tip, up to the balls, and then lay quiet plugging her, letting her feel the delicious distention of her sheath. Then it wriggled up against her womb portals giving gentle titillating pushes there — knocking for an opening for the sperm to enter. She sighed, I saw the white of her eyes thro the half closed lids — she was enjoying the fuck now — its pleasure was coming on her — her cunt plugged and already gorged with sperm, was ready for my second libation. Now I thrust harder and quicker — a little sigh, followed by a slight shudder, her hands clasped my arse (a woman instinctively does so when she spends) and her crisis was on — Ah! that marvellous grinding clip, that gentle movement. My spunk shot up her as she quivered with pleasure, and then with eyes closed we laid together tranquilly joined.
But not for long, desire for her began as soon as I had finished, never had I been more continuously and irresistibly randy, and before the hour had run out we were spending again. Two hours later on, I had just had my fourth, last, long, labourious fuck, when we heard sharp raps at the door. It was Nelly.
"Oh! it's mistress, don't pray open the door." She shook her petticoats when off the bed, and with one leg of her drawers round her ankle, opened the door. I had buttoned up. — "I've been knocking ten minutes - fetch some ale Agnes," said Nell — the girl who looked ill went out. I told Nell all, gave her her present and left. She said that an hour before she had knocked. We had not heard her.
The next day with a cockstand, I knocked and Nell opened it — Agnes was there. "So you've been poking my maid you bad man." "Nothing of the sort." — "Nonsense, she has told me you did if four times, you never did me so often — I'm going out." — "If Agnes and I like fucking it's our business isn't it?" — "Mine too, for she is my servant" — and out Nell went.
The next moment I threw Agnes on the bedside and looked at her cunt — what a sweet pretty little cunt it looked. I fell gamahuching it with all my might, she was soon roused, and we fucked there.
I stripped her. A lovelier formed girl I never put naked, she had the fullness of eighteen in thigh, bum and breast, but the cunt of sixteen, the sweetest little split of a delicate pink, with slight, silky, shortish, brown hair round it, the lacerated edges of the virginity looked like a cockscomb. — Yesterday — a fight, a struggle to feel it — today I turn her on to back and belly, open her thighs, finger her from navel to arse-hole — I kiss — smell — lick her sweet red little quim, frig it and fuck it, as if her cunt had been my property for years, whilst she lays quite complaisant, tranquilly and voluptuously enjoying my investigations. — I show her all the curiosities and habits of a prick — its stages of repose, half stand, full stand, tip covered and uncovered — prick changing to crimson as the lustful want gets fiercer and it stands erect. What a treat for her to feel and stiffen it for me, whilst I lay licking her clitoris. I fucked, and sucked, and frigged her that night till she was blue under the eyes. I never left her cunt for hours, and fetched her young as she was, with tongue, finger and prick quite six times. — My prick this night was not so ready, towards the last indeed I had a dry Priapus, tho stiff as any horn from excitement, and kept ramming it up her without emission, tho I felt her young cunt tightening, grinding and wetting it. And then her quiet enjoyment, so quiet but so defined, when her cunt flux came on. Towards the last when I fucked her twenty minutes at a guess with-out an emission, she in her fatigue sighed. — "Oh, do leave off — I am so tired, — Oh do." — Nell came back in bad humour, a friend (so she said) had wanted to come home with her and wouldn't go with her elsewhere. I made that all right with money. Then we drank together. — "Agnes has got her cunt full of my spunk," said I — "Go and wash stupid," said Nell.
Next time, Nell put on clean sheets. — Being doubtful about her own, she had to borrow a pair, I had then no idea she'd got so poorly off. Then I and Agnes got into the bed start naked. For two or three weeks I was mad for her, I gamahuched her unusually, it was an inciting cunt for that — so youthful. She was a strong, healthy, juicy, little wench and spent freely, but I knocked her up with spending. I taught her everything. Not an attitude in which a woman can be fucked that I did not fuck her in, she knew the whole art of copulation within a fortnight. Then my powers began to fall off and my letch was over, and I began to think of the future of the girl. What did she intend to do I asked. — "Go back to service, but in a respectable house, not like this." — Unless she was in the family way — she began to whimper at the idea of that. Nell got fidgety and said I was turning her out of her rooms. She said that Agnes did nothing but sit before the fire and think, and was no longer any use as a servant, all thro the fucking, but she would keep her of course if I wished it. All the harlot procuresses behave the same. — With that understanding, and that she would not let any of her visitors fuck the girl, I stayed away a fortnight. When I went again, Agnes had left and gone to her mother. Said Nell, "She would not stop any longer." Nell was dressed in her best, with silk stockings and nice boots, and threw herself on the bed, and scratched her cunt, and finding that that did not fetch me, opened her thighs showing her red furrow in the way she knew I liked it done — I had written to say I should call and she'd got up herself thus invitingly. I guessed that. It was useless, I was angry. Then she said she was lewed, it was such a time since I'd fucked her.
"Give it me," said she with her customary virtuous simplicity of speech. She had a lecherous looking, dark haired cunt, which tho now large inside was a perfect sperm sucker, and she had taken a fancy to my fucking her lately I think. I wouldn't give her any cock, and went off saying that if Agnes was not back in a week, she'd see no more of me [I always acted thus in similar circumstances, nearly every woman who has helped me to their servants, got rid of them soon after I'd fucked them, and tried to prevent my having them long]. In a week Agnes was back, and didn't I moisten her little cunt, didn't she wet my ballocks. In a few days (I was at liberty just then) I fucked myself out, and fucked, gamahuched, and frigged Agnes into a similar state of lassitude. [All love ends in fucking, and that delightful exercise and its preliminaries are much the same, excepting on the first nights of a new piece. But what delightful shades of difference with each woman. This makes the variety in women so charming. But with Agnes, one evening was I find from my amatory diaries much the same as another, so I burn those copious records of my frolics, and abbreviate the sequel with Agnes which was spread over three or four years.]
Agnes was in the family way by me. Nelly got that stopped, and I paid for it. A friend of Nelly's saw Agnes and offered to keep her, so Nelly sent her home to her mother. I heard nothing of the girl for some months, when Nelly told me she'd heard she was a shop girl, but didn't know where (I dare say she did). One night at dusk I met her in O**f''*d St. walking fast, and carrying a large parcel. I stopped her, induced her into H*n*v*r S****e, where we kissed, then I felt her cunt and then with much difficulty got her to a neighbouring brothel. "Only to have a talk," said I. Within five minutes after I was fucking her. She to my great annoyance had drawers on, but what a delicious fuck it seemed to me. Then with drawers off we fucked again, and off she went. These chance meetings always are delicious. No one she said had ever touched her since I had, "And now perhaps I'm in for it again." — I couldn't get her address, and she refused to meet me, or let me have her any more.
Again as said she had drawers on, more and more this fashion of wearing drawers seems spreading. Formerly no woman wore them, but now whether lady, servant, or whore, they all wear them. I find they hinder those comfortable chance feels of bum and cunt, of which I have had so many.
Some months again elapsed when I met Agnes in the dark in R*g*t St. Again I got her to a house and fucked her. She had grown, was nearly nineteen, and what a lot more hair she had on her cunt. — I wrote a long description of that pretty article. I fucked her as much as I could in two hours, she refused to meet me again, and I never saw her more.
Full two years after, Nelly said that Agnes' mother told her, that the girl was married to a man in comfortable circumstances, had one child, and lived at B'' * t* *ea.
Agnes was one of the pretty cunted ones — perhaps the rift in a female belly is never so beautiful as it is between the age of sixteen and seventeen; yet I have thought otherwise, have liked the full sized, hirsute furrow which thirty-five gives. — Age has changed my taste in cunts, as it has in wines and other things.
But how singular. How few women I've met again when I have once lost sight of them, yet I have fucked a thousand. — Singular — where do they go to?