The Sex Diary of a
Vol. 9 Chapter VIII
About flagellation. • A peep thro a key hole at Nelly's. • A lubricious poke in an overflowing cunt. • A little bitch missed. • Two little cunts in a fog. • In a brothel. • Varied amusements. • Juvenile experiences detailed. • By a canal bridge. • A lady in black. • In her rooms. • Frisky and risky. • Twice in thirty minutes. • My luck in winter months. • More manuscript destroyed. • Retrospective and prospective. • Doings at a French lapunar. • Luxembourg Elaine. • The sous-maitresse.
In all my amorous adventures, I up to this time had scarcely thought about the effects of whipping the buttocks of male or female, to excite lust or give sexual pleasure. — About this time, either I had read of, or heard this lustful provocative talked about, I can-not say which, for there is nothing in my notes to tell, altho I began to refer to birching, and find that of Paphians both of high and low quality, I asked if they'd either witnessed or performed the operation, or had themselves been performed on. All, young and old had heard of it — few had witnessed it — one or two said they'd flogged men, and one that she had been flogged by a woman for a lady's delectation. They had birched her till her buttocks bled, and she was paid handsomely for submitting to it. No man was present, it was a lady's letch, and the lady was masked. — This story I did not then believe, but do so now. Thinking much of this erotic device I sought Camille. don't recollect having ever before talked with her bout flagellation, tho it's scarcely possible that I have not done so, — having conversed with her about all things erotic She (now years older) smiled, produced birches, and also bunches of string with knots in them, with which she said she flogged the bums of one or two of her friends. That some of their backsides bled, some not, that they all got good cock-stands and spent freely )y this backside punishment. And she offered to try on ne if I liked, which I declined.
Then not quite satisfied I went to Nelly L**l*e, and asked her. She had clients whom she flagellated with birches, and shewed me the rods. Frank as Camille, he told me all about it, how one of her men never got in erection by any other process but by birching, and hat without any act or volition on his part, without his ouching, or any one touching his prick, he spent copiously under the operation. He was a man between thirty and forty, — and this I didn't quite believe.
All seemed most incredible, so I visited her again one night solely to complete my information upon the subject, and at length stripped, laid upon the bed, and let her birch my backside — bore a few blows, but the pain became so great that I made her leave off — Nor did have a stiff stander in consequence, tho I waited to see what the heat on my bum would do for me in procuring it. After an hour, at the sight of her fully haired quim, up rose my prick at once, and as usual in that exceptable, roomy as it now had become, and as no doubt I have told — I had a complete pleasure, but not thro birching.
[I did not apparently think much more about flagellation then, but in a few years I was to be by chance a witness of many birchings, have seen bleeding male rumps, and have seen the wales on women's bums who had been birched. This will be told hereafter.]
She told me on that night I recollect, that she had seen in her own rooms, a woman, flogged by a man who made wales, on her bum, from some of which blood started. Directly he saw that he ceased birching her, frigged himself, spent over her rump, gave her five pounds and went away. — [That I didn't believe but now believe that lust will breed most extraordinary erotic eccentricities.] That in half an hour after the woman grew wild with lust, the birching heated her buttocks, and then that the heat flew to her cunt, and she frigged herself half a dozen times till exhausted. — If this be true, it shews that birching does stimulate both prick and cunt to action, but it cannot make or store up semen in the male — sperm is the only true source of copulative power.
It was a long time since I had seen a man and woman copulating — nor had I as far as I recollect, thought of seeing any such sight again, when one fine afternoon two or three months after the cunt parade, I called on Nelly, who was still living on the third floor of the house where she had two rooms — a bedroom and an-other which was her kitchen. — Leading out of each other: each room had also a door on to the landing of the stairs. — I knocked. — "Who's there?" — there was a mumbling and a man's voice. "It's I" — a pause. — "Wait a minute and I'll come." said Nelly who knew my voice, and almost at the same time appeared at the door in her chemise. Seeing me she came right out on to the landing holding the door close.
In a whisper. — "I'm so sorry — I have a friend — can't you come back in an hour?" — "No — send him away." "I can't till he's had me, he is a married man and so good to me — he was just going to do it as you knocked, and will soon go." — "Let me see him do it to you?" — the desire came thro me like lightning. — "I can't, I don't like." — My blood heated to boiling point at the idea, I promised much money, and she consented after hesitation (all said in a whisper). "Wait here." — Going in and closing the door she went thro the bedroom into the other room, the kitchen, the door of which as said also opened on to the stairs, and let me in. — My brain was now filled with lewedness. "Show me his prick — I won't pay you unless you let me see your cunt full of his spunk after — don't wash — don't move if you can help it after he's fucked you till I have seen your cunt — make his prick stiff for me to see, — turn him towards me." — "It will be stiff enough," — said Nell with a grin. — "But don't look thro the keyhole directly, wait till you hear us talking — go down now a few steps, making a noise as if you were leaving, and then come back here softly." — I went out of the room and returning bolted the door, — Nell went back into the bedroom to her friend, fastening the kitchen door which led out of it on her side — with a small bolt.
I knew the door well and the key hole also, having more than once looked thro it, and asked if any one (jokingly) was looking at me when fucking. — Clothes usually hung over the keyhole on the kitchen side as well as on the bedroom side — I took care always that there was no peep hole, not then liking to be looked at when fucking, but thro the key hole knew I could see the bed and half the bedroom. — It was a fine post for viewing the operation. It was a bright day and the white blinds in the bedroom windows shut out but little light. — Clothes hung over the key hole, indeed almost covered the door on the kitchen side where I was, and had he been suspicious and looked thro would have seen nothing. My lubricity would not let me wait, and the instant almost that I heard the bolt shot, I applied my eye cautiously to the key hole. There were no clothes hiding the hole now on the sitting room side, she knew my eye would be investigating every thing almost before she'd got back to him.
He was sitting on the side of the bed about eight feet from the key hole, and my eye, his trowsers down, his shirt tucked up, his big prick nearly at cock stand size flopping on his thigh, his finger and thumb near the tip of it. He was a handsome tall man of about thirty five, I could hear every thing they said for there was but little carriage traffic in the street.
Said he, "It was a man wasn't it?" — "Yes, he will come back in ten minutes — I'm so sorry dear, but he is such a good friend, and I thought you would not mind for once going soon — he's going off by rail and I don't like him to go without seeing me." — "All right," said the man good naturedly. "If he had been a minute later I should have been up you." — Both laughed then.
— "Who's in that room? there is some one." — "Oh, it's the old woman who does my washing — let's do it
— I don't want him to meet you as you go down stairs."
— She then dropped off her chemise, went to his side, and took hold of his prick. He pushed his hand round her bum and between her buttocks. She opened her legs, and I saw his fingers approaching her cunt from behind. She pulled up his shirt which had slipped down, and tucked it up in a roll above his navel. — His prick was now standing up like a scaffold pole, — a big one
— feeling her had erected it fully.
Then Nelly pulled the prepuce up and down for my edification. He got up, and his trowsers slipped all down his legs — Nell put herself on to the bed kneeling, and I could see the nick of her cunt in the black hairy setting, as plainly as I could my own fingers, tho but sideways. He opened her thighs more, pulled the cunt lips apart, and looked at it, his prick throbbing violently, rose up and fell a couple inches at each lustful pulsation. — Then up into Nelly's quim he drove it, gave a few quick shoves, then pulled it out slowly just to the tip, looked down, plunged it up again violently and did that two or three times, looking at his prick and opening her buttocks with his hands each time. Then he pulled it out altogether — "The other way," said he
— Nell knew, turned on to her back on the side of the bed, and up into her cunt then went his prick — he holding on to her by her thighs, and pulling her to him.
— A few shoves, a very low sigh or two, and he was done, had emptied his ballocks, and was lying over her bending and kissing her, whilst she was holding his shirt up high above his arse for me to see that — I saw all this side ways — saw every wriggle — heard every word — and every sigh — every murmur of pleasure.
He withdrew it still stiff, and came shuffling along his feet encumbered by his trowsers towards the wash-stand which was quite close to the door. The prick was then within a yard of my eye, and I saw sperm drop from it — Nelly did not get up, but with thighs closed turned herself round so as to lay more easily on the bed, her heels towards the door — "Make haste dear, I don't want him to meet you on the stairs, he said he'd be back in ten minutes — and I want to wash before he comes, you have made me so wet." — He gave his prick a hasty wash — I could not see that, but saw him rub his tooleywag (still stiffish) and a big bag of stones, with a towel. He pulled up his trowsers—he had already his coat on, — gave her a kiss, — said he would see her next week, paid her, and went away. — "Make haste down, I don't want him to see you, turn the key twice
— that's it, — good bye love, shut the door, come next week and write when." — Off he went utterly unsuspecting.
Nelly saying, "Oh I must wash" — as he left, still lay there until the door closed, and we heard the clatter of his feet on the stairs — Nelly let me in then, and immediately laid down again. — Mad with lust I rushed to her. — "Oh lock the door first, in case he comes back."
— I ran and did so, and back to her in a jiffy, she on the bed had opened her thighs. — The man's footsteps were still audible going down stairs, whilst all this took place.
I had seen fresh fucked cunts before, but never but once saw one like this — from her arsehole to clitoris, it was one thick mass of glairy or rather gruelly sperm.
— Shutting her legs in getting up to open the kitchen door for me to enter, some had squeezed out and her thighs were wet with it. — It clung to the hair round the lips. — It lay in a large globe at the mouth of the prick hole, ready to drop down or roll down towards her arsehole. I stretched her thighs open wide, the cunt lips opened with them — but the whole mouth of the red avenue was still hidden by the sperm — from clitoris to bum hole, from one lip to the other distended as they were, was one mass of transparent viscosity, mixed greatly with opal lumps. The inner lips, — the nymphae, — were almost indiscernible — tho they are distinctly developed in Nell now. — She was older and her nymphae had enlarged since I first fucked her.
My prick was throbbing — I felt as if I must spend even when peeping thro the keyhole, and unbuttoned my trowsers, pulled it out, and gave it ease and play.
— "Did you spend with him?" — "No. I was just beginning to feel him when he finished, he was so quick."
— "Oh! now don't, — you'd better not — oha — you baudy — beast you." — I had seen Nelly's eyes and knew the look. Randy and without thought or pre-meditation, I thrust my pego up her into the man's sperm, and fucking violently, Nelly and I spent together the next minute. I kept questioning. — She ejaculating, "Baudy — beast you — oh — yes — he spends always — spends — a lot — aharr — eher — ah."
When we came to our senses I was anxious and feared consequences, and still up her with prick still stiff, her cunt yet constricting, as if to incite me to continue the exercise. — "I hope he is all right in health," I said — "I think he is so — but I can't be sure, what made you do it." — "You know him?" — "I've seen him regularly for a couple of years, he is married and has a family he says, and comes to town purposely to see me." — I felt then easier in my mind. — Nelly was tightening her cunt still and pinching my prick with it, whilst we were talking. — My pego responded by keeping nearly at cockstand. — "You spent with me almost directly I put into you." — "Yes, he'd been tormenting me before and made me want it, he always gamahuches me till I'm nearly mad; and leaves off just before it comes." — "You want fucking again Nell." — She laughed, pushing my prick out in doing so.
Then Nelly shifted herself lengthways on to the bed, leaving a trail of spunk on the coverlid as she did so, then throwing off my coat, I jumped on to the bed — saw her cunt still flooded with sperm, — now, mine, and his, and hers mixed — fell on her, and was up her cock exhauster with a dash. — "Oh what a baudy beast you are." — "So are you." — "What a lot of spunk's on your cunt." — "He always spends a lot, and so do you.
— Oh! oh you beast." — "Is his prick bigger than mine?"
— "Oh — same size — you — bea — fuck — ahr — fuck" — said Nelly who was unusually hot arsed and lewed tongued, and in a minute we spent together again, talking about her friend's copulative qualities, to the last — till our power of talk left us, and we could only ejaculate baudy words, as our seminal juices squirted and oozed and mingled.
Out came my doodle soon — reeking to my balls with spermatic fluids. "You have dirtied the counter-pane," said Nell. — I washed my prick in a hurry and Nell did the same to her cunt. — Seeing her black motte over the basin, — "Don't soap it," — I said still feeling lewed — "let's see if the spunk comes out." — Nelly did exactly what I asked her, she always did, it was one of her great charms. — She obeyed me unhesitatingly like a French whore, without sham or affection. There were now very few sperm lumps I recollect, it had got churned up, and came out mixed on to our genital bushes, had rubbed nearly dry on my balls and her thighs, and all and every where on those surfaces was adhesive. Then for a while we talked and all about the man, his way of fucking, his prick, his balls, his sperm, and everything else about him. — We laid upon the bed whilst we talked. My prick had a soft, lewed irritation on it tho it was not stiff, as if his sperm had left his lust in me as well as my own. Then we moved head to feet of each other lying sideways. — I saw Nell's large, fat lipped, dark haired cunt, under the strong light of the summer afternoon, my head lay on one of her legs, with one hand I propped up the other, which opened the gap, whilst she gently frigged me — she was now a splendid frigger. — Then my prick went into her mouth, and whilst my fingers travelled round her hard smooth bum and thighs, and I gloated on her cunt, titillated the clitoris, twisted the curly thatch, or probed its depth, she gently fetched the sperm out of me into her mouth and at once I fell asleep my head upon her thigh. When I awoke, she was seated at the side of the bed quietly twiddling my cock — she never could keep her hands off of that — and would play with it for hours, twiddling it from the time I first saw her till I left; keeping up voluptuous irritation and desire, even if I had no intention of further pleasure in her charming, soft, pulpy, yet powerful cunt, for its muscularity at the crises merited that description.
There was something in the smoothness of the cunt filled with sperm, a voluptuous lubricity together with the idea of another man's prick having just been up it, which excited me tremendously — I seemed to participate in his pleasure whilst having my own, and as I thrust, could almost feel his thrusts in her — his prick seemed to be up her as well as my own —there was a maddening voluptuousness about it which sank deeply into my mind, and made me desire to taste such pleasure again. — And I have been able to repeat the pleasure, tho I had resolved for many reasons not to do so, after my frolic with the man at Sarah F**z*r's. — It was now some years since I amused myself with him.
I went to see Nell again to talk about it, hoping for the chance of having her after her stalwart friend, but failed — I said I'd wait for another man, but she put me off. Now she went out at night, which she formerly used rarely to do, and that did not suit me. At length she one day said, — "I can't get a gentleman for you to do it after, but there's a man who has begun doing it before gentlemen, will you have him?" — "Is he a bugger?" — "Oh no. He's a poor man, a workman about thirty years old." She did not know how he came to be fucking before gentlemen, a girl had told her of him and that he had a very big prick. — I refused to see him.
Then I went abroad and did nothing worth telling about there. — On my return I found Nell had just got a little servant girl. I could have her if I liked she said, but she'd have nothing to do with it — I persuaded the lass easily enough, and she frankly admitted that several had had her. But the extreme smallness of her cunt was a wonder — I tried to fuck her, but getting my prick in was impossible, to get two fingers up her was as much as I could do. I have had many girls as young as she but none with such a small vagina, tho the cunt in its entirety looked large enough. I doubted if she really had been fucked. Two or three days after, going there to try her again, she had run away, and stolen some of Nell's clothes.
Pondering on this, that evening at about six o'clock, I passed some little juvenile punks as I walked thro the Quadrant, and thought I should like to feel the make of one or two. — Three quite little ones passed me together, it was tho early, dark, and so foggy, that it was possible I might be mistaken. — Were they modest, or immodest? — I chirped with my tongue, saying in a low tone, — "Come here," as I passed them and walked up * * * * Street.
That street was quiet, I walked quickly on in the fog — heard small feet pattering after me — turned round, and there were two of them. — We could not now see across the road for the fog, which had thickened suddenly, at ten paces I could barely see the outline of any one. A suitable evening for feeling cunts on the Queen's highway.
"How old are you?" — "Fifteen." — "Have you any hair on your cunt?" — Only a little sir, but she has none — have you Louey?" — "No, that I ain't" — "Come to a house with us, it's close by." — "I'll give you a shilling to feel your cunt." — "Oh no — I'm frightened of the police, come with us and we'll both strip naked." — "I can't — let me feel your cunt." — A little more talk and one said, — "Stand a little off Louisa and see if any one's coming." — Then I felt all round her bum and belly, and put my fingers well up her cunt. — "You let men fuck you, don't you?" — "Yes, come with me." — "Do they hurt you?" — "Not if their things ar'n't too big, I won't let them if they are. — Let me feel your cock" — and she began fumbling outside my trowsers. — "Leave my cock alone." — "Let's feel it — pull it out, — I like feeling them — it won't show under your great coat." — She made an effort to get it but could not, for I was stooping to feel her notch and my cock was out of her reach — "Stand up, and let me feel it." — "I won't." — "Let's feel your prick, isn't it stiff?" said the other damzel.
My letch was satisfied in ascertaining how small her cunt was, and I gave her a shilling. "Oh! give me an-other, you've been feeling a long time." — The other girl who had been standing near said, "Give me a shilling too, I've been watching for the police." — "Let me feel your cunt" — she stretched out her little legs and I felt quite easily up her cunt — she had a little hair on it, and was fifteen years old. — "She's only fourteen," she remarked of the other — "But come to a room with us, there is a nice house close by." — "I can't, I'll give you a shilling to piss over my fingers." — "I'll try, but I don't want." — She squatted and pissed. "I want," said the other. "Go on then and I'll give you a shilling." — She pissed a rattler over my hand, placed so as to feel the stream. — "Oh you're wetting my drawers so — don't." — Then I leaned my unbrella against the wall, and felt both cunts at once, then went to my club and dined. — No policeman had approached. — A woman and man came near but stopped — the man was feeling her I think.
There's a wonderful attraction in cunt, — I'd no sooner dined than I wished I'd gone to a house to see the little bitches, whose impudence and baudiness were astounding, so went to the spot where I had met them, but they were not to be seen — I walked up and down for full half an hour — it was still foggy — when they passed with two youth after them, talking with them. "It's the old bloke," said one. Chits like those call every man after forty, old. — The youths went off, I found where the girls would go to, said I'd have both and give three shillings to each. — "Will you have the best room, it's five shillings?" I agreed to that, and was soon in it.
They were not badly dressed, nor very dirty, but certainly not very clean. — Two little nearly hairless cunts were soon under my inspection — both had been fucked a year they told me — I made them wash their cunts and strip naked. "Show us yer prick," said one boldly. — "Oh! ain't it a stunner?" — Both handled it. — "Who will you do it to?" said one. — "Both." — They burst out laughing. "That yer can't." — I sat one on each knee and we chatted. — They said they were not fucked every night, but some one felt them every night, sometimes two or three did. — "Mother knows" — said one of them. — The boys annoyed them, they couldn't abear boys. — "Why? their pricks are as big as mine." "That they ain't — not near as big, are they Louey?" — "Not as I've seen," said that young lady. — They often frigged gents in the street they told me. — "Oh ain't it stiff?" I laid them both side by side on the bed and put a middle finger up each of their little cunts, at the same time.
About to fuck one whose cunt looked the prettiest — one had a little down, one scarcely a hair, — I took the hairless when fear seized me. So after pulling open their cunts wide, examining them well, and seeing that they looked all right, yet still fearing, I laid down five shillings for each girl, which was two more than I'd promised, told that I wanted to fuck but had fear, would they tell me the truth? If I liked them I should see them again, if I got ill I shouldn't, — there was their money tell me the truth. — Both sat up and both gabbled together, "Don't be afeared, I'm all right." — "I'm sure I am," said one, "I ain't had it done to me for four days, but I've frigged two gents." — They were complete little harlots.
Satisfied, I laid upon my selected one, almost hiding her little body with mine, and my pego was well engulphed in her cunt in a second (wonderful oh pudenda is thy dilatibility). I fucked slowly at first, then left off thrusting, and asked her to frig herself. Gently easing myself off of her, but keeping my prick up her, she obeyed, put her little hand between our bellies, and frigged her clitoris vigorously, whilst I watched her face. I have been rather fond of making women frig themselves whilst my prick was in them during the last few years, — all sorts of letches have their turn with me. — "Does it give you pleasure?" — "Yes, soon I'll spend." — Then I fucked with vigor, and the little one spent with me. — Making her spend gave me much voluptuous gratification, she was so artless in her pleasure.
This was an unlooked for enjoyment and my erotic fibres being set, vibrating, I resolved to fuck the elder and slightly haired cunted one. — There was a good lot of fattish sperm in the little one's cunt which I wouldn't let her wash out. — She didn't care about washing it she said. I washed myself, and promised them another shilling each if they'd suck my pego. That both re-fused to do, but in five minutes acceded, tempted by the promised gift. — Being in no hurry, and my sperm bag not now being quite full and ready for a second libation, for half an hour I chatted with them, feeling and looking at their little cunts at intervals. I got some further confessions from them about male doings. It was quite a treat — never at this moment do I recollect having had two such young strumpets together. — Each had been fucked a year, each had a sweet-heart they said, and evidently those were youths, tho they affected to despise youths. — The eldest had refused to be buggered several times. One man had offered her five pounds to do it to her, another had offered her ten shillings extra only. — "No thankee, — not for Joseph" — said she. She seemed quite to understand what fundamental fucking was. They were young men generally, not old, who went to baudy houses with them. They often frigged men and liked it. These are the most interesting facts I heard, if facts they be, and they are probable enough.
By that time ready to begin work, first one took my prick into her little mouth, and then the other. I laid the biggest along the bed on her side, making her gamahuche me, whilst I frigged her. My pego rose up, voluptuous sensations crept thro my ballocks and spreading through my body, letches of all sorts arose in my brain. — "Frig your friend," said I withdrawing my pego from her lips, and I'll give you each another shilling — a shilling procured me the gratification of each fantasy. — Now short of silver, I took theirs back, giving each of them half a sovereign instead. — The eldest began to frig the younger — "No I'll frig you." "No frig her whilst my sperm's still in her cunt — no sham — frig properly." — They began the cuntal titillation.
Whilst she was fingering the little one, I changed my mind, and set the little one to frig the other. They made no objection, the friggee took my prick in hand whilst the smaller lass titillated skilfully the other's clitoris. — Feeling certain of it, from the businesslike way they surrendered themselves to the masturbating exercise — "Do you often frig each other?" I asked. — The elder whose cuntal sensations began to show themselves in her face and body, yet replied, — "Not often, sometimes if we sleeps together we does it." — Stretching out her other hand (my prick was in one) she felt the little one's cunt, and tried to frig her whilst being herself frigged. The idealities were on her, her eyes closed — "Frig — faster Milly — ahar," — she cried — and the next moment was quiet. — "Have you spent?" — "Yes" — I opened her thighs, and intruding my finger, found that the little devil had wetted her cunt well inside.
Then came another letch. I made them both lick my glans at the same time. Sitting down on the bed edge, the two little naked ones did it kneeling, their noses nearly meeting, and laughing heartily at the fun. They had never done or heard of such a thing before, nor do I think I had. This lingual amusement roused me well. — "Oh ain't it stiff and big now?" said the younger with the tone of a connoissieur. Then making them stand up rump to rump I frigged with both hands for a little time, both of their cunts simultaneously, whilst my prick I pushed between their naked backs as they stood, and their flesh pressed its tip gently. There were no looking glasses in the room to increase my pleasure.
Then I put both on the bedside, and first put my prick into the spermatized cunt, withdrew it and put it into the other, half finished there, then wishing a change of position withdrew it, put her along the bed, fucked her laying on her belly, and spent whilst with my right hand I felt the little one's gummy quim. — I had had a most voluptuous evening, and departed leaving the two little jades pleased with the fun, and the money they had gained. I have played these games, with women, but never with such a young couple of harlots.
Most of my adventures with married women, or women who were not Paphians, have occurred during the winter months. — Darkness is favorable to risky amours — I was going soon after this to visit a friend one Sunday evening, the road at one spot was over a canal, beyond it the canal was open, with roads on each side lined with houses of good class, and having gardens in front and rear.
It was just before church time, and the bells were ringing. It was a pitch dark night, bitterly cold, had been snowing slightly, and the wind had driven the snow up against the walls and railings, leaving white lines there, whilst all under foot was black. The piercing wind I expect kept people at home, for there were scarcely any out. I stood for a minute looking over the parapet at the canal, watching by gaslight the ice forming, then walked on, and at the corner of the road by the canal, saw a female standing, and clothed seemingly all in black, who looked at me with eager dark eyes, as I fancied, then turned round and walked down the canal road. There was a gas of this lamp at the end road by which I had been able for a second to see her face. — A gay one, thought I, and of good class — for I had seen she was well dressed, so stood and watched her.
When at about twenty paces off in the darkness, and I could barely see her, she turned back, slowly approached the high road again, stood still at some feet from me, looked as I thought at me, and again turned round.
A lustful curiosity arose in me, for she now did not seem to me to be an ordinary trull, and slowly I followed her. She went further down into the darkness without looking round, then I conjectured she was waiting for some one and stopped. She turned round again, walked back towards me, and would I believe have passed me tho she walked very slowly, when a sudden letch for feeling her cunt seized me. — "You're waiting for a friend," said I. — "No I am not" — and she stood still. — "Let me feel it," said I. — "My — God — no," — said she with emphasis as if perfectly astonished. Then afterwards, "You may come home with me if you like, if you'll be quick" — her voice was tremulous and nervous, I noticed.
"Where do you live, is it far?" — "Close by, but you must be quick." — There was something about the affair which now excited me. — "I'll go with you, but I'm not a rich man mind." — She made no reply but laughed slightly, pulled down her veil, put her arm through mine, walked with me quickly on, stopped in front of one of a pair of semi-detached houses fronting the canal, went up a flight of stairs to a portico (the house I should say was about eighty pounds a year rental) opened the street door with a latch key, and we entered the house. Silently and quickly she led the way to the first floor, and we were in a well furnished pair of rooms, parlor in front, bedroom leading out of it, — then raising her veil she stood looking at me and I at her. — "We must be quick," said she. — "They've only gone to church, and I let the other servant go out for an hour, telling her I didn't mind being in the house alone," her voice was tremulous, but her manner firm and decided.
I felt a little bewildered now with the woman. — She relieved me by saying, — "Take off your hat and coat," which I did, putting them on the table, whilst she did the same with her cloak and bonnet. That done she sat on a sofa, I by the side of her, and commenced my courtship by a kiss, which she returned three or four times, saying, "We must be quick." — She was clad very handsomely in black silk from head to foot, I now noticed.
She was a handsome, dark eyed woman of about thirty, but her face was most unnaturally white, whether from agitation or what I cannot say. I asked if she'd been there long. "No, we must be quick." Again our mouths met and kissed, then I put my hands under her petticoats, well between her thighs and touched her cunt. — "You've no drawers on," said I pleased (for every dirty little whore as well as servants and ladies all wear those cunt swabs now). — "I never wear them." — Her thighs opened to receive my fingers, to invite their titillation on her cunt, and she put her hand on to my cock outside my trowsers. Aiding her I pulled it out, and she grasped it feeling from balls to tip eagerly. — In a minute it was stiff, silently we lay half back upon the sofa, handling our genitals in quiet delight, till with a voluptuous shiver and, "Ahar — we must be quick," she arose and walked to the bed-room, where gas was burning and the room very bright. I followed with prick standing out.
I had scarcely time to think, all was action, "Is she gay — a wife, mistress, or what?" — These passed through my brain. Her manners were not those of a gay woman, yet as she threw herself on the bed, partly lifted her clothes and said, "Make haste," there was a freedom and lustful impetuousity about her, more like a lewed, half screwed harlot who wanted fucking than anyone else. — "Let me see it dear" — said I, throwing up her petticoats above her motte, and saw a dark haired cunt set in handsome thighs and belly. — "Open your thighs." — She opened them wide, for she'd nothing to hide. The gas shed a strong light on all, and her cunt looked handsome, — perfect to me — who had now a well roused standing prick; and throwing off my coat and waistcoat I laid myself by the side of her.
For a moment I groped her sexual treasure as far as I could reach, and frigged her button whilst she handled gently my prick, and we kissed until I mounted, and plunged my prick to its very roots up her cunt, then lay in that exquisite consciousness of possession, which I have when well within a woman for the first time. She breathed hard at once, moving her buttocks gently, and murmured, "Oh — go — on — aha — go — go — on — ah — r" — I had not made a dozen thrusts, before she spent, her cunt relaxed — my prick felt drowned. — "Ahrrr," — she sighed with violent passion as her cunt gave its final grip, and loosened as the flux of juices came with her spasms of pleasure.
Ceasing to thrust — "You've spent," said I. — "Y — hes," — she whispered, holding me tightly to her still, and raising her thighs to clip mine — alas in trowsers. — Then on I went fucking — but tho I wanted her now, I was not so impetuous, my ballocks were not so full, so urgent to be emptied of their sweets as they are at times. — At once she joined in the exercise. "You'll spend again with me," I murmured thrusting slowly, pulling my prick out quite slowly to its tip, and then ramming it back violently. — She liked that mode — "Aharr" — she sighed at each stroke of greater force, and sought my tongue with hers. Tongues rubbing languidly together stopped further words. — Now my sperm-holder sent its delicious thrills through me, as warning of the coming jets of life — nature had all its way — "Aha — fuck" — our backsides now oscillated fast and in unison, now rapidly my prick drove up and down the lubricious channel. — Its tip found its nook, and nestled against her womb portals. With loving murmurs choked by our mingling, dripping tongues, we spent with passionate transports.
We lay quiet till the junction of our bodies nearly ended. — Then, "You wanted a fuck," said I. — "Ah! yes" — she replied with a sigh. Then she wanted to wash. — "Don't, and I'll do it again." — "No, you can't — can you — but you mustn't. — Wait. — I must, — I will wash" — and throwing my prick out, she sluiced her cunt, a reeking cunt, — for she was a juicy one, and our spendings were issuing fast on to her thigh, as she lay on her side facing me, struggling to get up, whilst I tried to hold her down. I washed as well, and then she begged me to leave. "Now do — for God sake." — "I'll do you again." — "You know you can't — do go — I've only let the servant go for an hour, and the rest of them are at church
— I suppose." "Where are the rest of the family?"
— "Now never mind, ask no questions." — "Are you married?" — "I shan't answer you — do go." — "You'd like another fuck wouldn't you?" said I chaffing. — "You can't do it if I should, — now go."
There was something about the lady which now made me want to have her again. — I'd no desire when first I saw her. — Now the affair excited me and stimulated my lust — I showed her my prick which was large, hanging, but not stiff. — "Feel it, you'll make it stiff enough if you try." — She looked earnestly at my machine, went to the door and listened, then stood looking at me. I went up to her and frigged it. — The lewed but agitated look came over her white face again. — "I'm so frightened. If you are caught here I'm ruined, tell me exactly what the time is." — I did. — But before I looked at my watch, put my prick in her hand. She held it handling it softly in a nervous way, it grew larger and larger, and a slightly voluptuous thrill shot thro it. "Let me look at your cunt well and it will be stiff," said I — Without a word she went back to the bed, and laid on it, I threw up her clothes to her navel, had a good look at her notch and its neighbouring charms. — "You've had a child," said I. — She pushed down her clothes and sat up. — "Are you going to have me?" was all her reply, and fearing hindrance I mounted her. It was a longish fuck, for my prick was not quite rigid at first, but I managed it. She was voluptuous and charming in her caresses, her cunt fitted me, and I spent with delight in her, feeling her big smooth buttocks. She was a well fleshed woman.
I uncunted from a cunt which seemed as wet as before. She didn't wash — all she seemed to want was to get away — her anxiety seemed extreme. I wanted to talk, was curious. — "Ask me nothing, — won't tell you. — Go for God's sake — if you're caught here I can't tell the consequences." — "Here's a sovereign." — "Oh! put it down" — said she laughing as if it were a good joke. — "I'll call next week." — "Oh! — my God, — do nothing of the sort, — but I shan't be here if you do." — Then kissing me, permitting me to feel her cunt in the passage way, yet almost pushing me out of the street door whilst I did so, I departed. — I was not in the house half an hour.
A fortnight after in the day time, I went to look at the house. — On the first floor window "apartments" was written — I did not call to ask questions, thinking I might get the lady into trouble and perhaps myself as well. — Who and what was she who wanted fucking so badly? for I'm sure that's why she had me — I fancy she was a lodger there, and either married or kept. — I have an impression married. This adventure terminated the year.
I have had most of my adventures with half and half women — widows, wives or others, who hot arsed only get a bit of strange cock on the sly — in the winter months. This piece of luck occurred quite at the end of this year, during which and the preceding one, I had certainly a large variety in my amours, and erotic amusements.
[More manuscript must be destroyed for mere abbreviation will be useless. — Eighty pages must go to the flames. — The narrative thus curtailed cannot show clearly the gradual development of abnormal excentric tastes, and necessitates an epitome of some years to supply the hiatus. Some of the most conspicuous incidents I shall keep as originally written or nearly so, and they will take their place chronologically.]
[Some years before I met H*l*n M***w**d, I had been frequently at * * * * * and more frequently at bordels than for many years previously. I principally visited one where there were (and still are) about twenty women on the establishment, who sit nightly nearly naked in the saloon, a bewildering, voluptuous sight. Idealities becoming an increasing source of delight to me, and abnormal erotic letches and fancies coursing through my brain whenever I was in rut, variety in form and color of my women, and in their postures, being to me more charming than ever, I sought this lapunar. There I had one, two, or three women, or more at a time and got much voluptuous enjoyment — had all those voluptuous preliminaries which a stiff prick suggests, and never hurried myself to the delicious crisis which for a time destroys desire.
[It is doubtful however whether I got more pleasure, from having three women together, than I got by one alone; so soon as my prick had stretched the cunt, and fucking had begun. But idealities in the preliminaries, and even during the consummation of love, are much — perhaps almost every thing in love. — Is it not the beauty, the taste of the eye the thoughts, which more frequently than otherwise make the sole difference in the pleasure between fucking one woman and another — makes the difference between a cunt which a man thinks pretty, and one which he thinks ugly?
[There was one woman at the lapunar whom I selected often for her exquisite form and sweet face, named Elaine — a Luxembourg woman. She took a fancy to me, and after a time told me much of the inner life of a brothel, of its internal economy, and the habits of the inmates. She told me of those who were much sought after and always had five, six or seven men a night. Elaine saved money, and in three years be-came sous-maitresse, and was then supposed to have ceased fucking there; yet I had her there once or twice, on the sly. She then left and set up a bordel of her own. One named Hortense succeeded her, and then Alexandrine.]